15. Miracles

I know quite a lot about miracles. I've certainly experienced quite a few in my time. And I will experience more. Some of those were big, whopping 'bloody hell!' kind of miracles and others are quieter 'hang on a minute, wasn't that...?' ones. But this blog is called A Life of Miracles and my life has definitely been just that ... and, thank God, continues to be so.

Here are just a few examples from my blogs:

There's why I married Henry Barley.

There's Henry's and my wedding.

There's the barracuda.

There's How To Manifest a Beagle.

There's Getting Didi Home.

I had a wonderful healing miracle too. About eight years ago I developed a rather nasty mole on my right breast. It grew quickly from nothing, was a bad colour and started to divide.

I panicked and ignored it (I know ... I know but I never said I wasn't a coward). Then, the night before my ordination as an independent sacramental priest, I accidentally scratched it in the bath and it started to bleed.

Very interesting timing. 'Well,' I thought, suppressing the panic. 'I can't do anything about it tomorrow but I guess I'm off to the doctor pronto as soon this is over.'

But as I lay in the bath again, on the evening after the ordination ceremony, after everyone else had gone home and I had time to contemplate such a wonderful and life-changing day, I noticed something odd.

The mole had gone. Absolutely and completely gone. There was a pale pink patch where it had been and that was all.

It never came back. I don't know if that kind of thing happens often but to me it was a complete miracle with wonderful timing. And I am still very grateful.

So... I was kind of expecting a miracle this time too. But it hasn't been that kind of miracle and that was certainly hard at first. Getting used to a big life-change takes time and it's natural to want things to return to the way they were - but that's not the message that a dis-ease brings.

A friend who's been reading this blog said 'of course, I can see you're putting a brave face on it.' But that felt very weird. You know, I don't think I am. I actually am appreciating the journey. I'm being renewed, regenerated, resurrected. I wouldn't have missed this for the world.

Yes, as I've said before, there are some utterly horrid times - including a time when I sat with my head in said friend's lap howling with fear and distress - but I have also experienced such love, such kindness, and I have grown such strength. I have been in communion with God in a completely different way; I have experienced therapies and healing rituals that I would never have known of before; I have had gifts of spirit and psyche as well as gifts in the physical world. I'm not the me I used to be and that's truly amazing.

This is the making of me not the destroying of me. Thank you God.

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