There were times too that I thought it was awful. Lots of them. 2013 was the year that I was diagnosed with a life-enhancing dis-ease.
That’s not what the doctors called it, of course. That was something entirely different.
It took a few months to realize this fully ... because I am entirely human. It also took a few months to realize that I am incredibly grateful for it. Please do try not to vomit when you read that. I do realise it's a bit on the wanky bollox side. (WBX, as it will be referred to from now on, is my favourite way of describing over-the-top, unicorn-friendly, fluffy pink, holistic positive-speak).
This blog is about the journey I’m on with this life-enhancer. It will probably get pretty weird; it will definitely contain a fair amount of WBX. But I’ll try to keep it grounded. And I will tell the truth about the processes – glorious and painful.
Why am I writing it? Well I’m a writer anyway; it’s therapy for me and, if it just for one moment, helps someone else with a life-enhancing dis-ease or helps someone enhance their life without having to manifest such a dis-ease then that’s pretty good.
The dis-ease will get named on and off during this blog but not a lot. That’s not because I’m trying to hide anything but because the dis-ease itself is not the story, it’s the symptoms of the story.
I’m responsible for Maggy. I’m a spiritual being, incarnate as a human being. I also have a body. Nigel is not me. Nigel is an it. Nigel is something that came along to teach me something important. It may well have come along to save my life not to destroy it.
It’s also annoying, uncomfortable, has required serious life-changes - and will probably require more - and made me one of those annoying people who doesn't eat gluten or sugar or half the stuff that's really, really nice and everyone else adores (oh that has been such a challenge!). But most importantly of all it’s a dis-ease that I went down on my knees and begged for.
Yes, I did. I am entirely responsible for it. No, not because I ate badly (too much sugary stuff for sure but home-cooked organic food, locally sourced and not a KFC in more than a decade), and not because I have been a ‘bad person’ (though I am sure there are some who would disagree) and not because I haven’t meditated or prayed or been kind to others (though I’m sure I could have done more) and not because I ‘haven’t worked hard enough holistically or spiritually’ (ditto).
It’s here because I went down on my knees and begged God to clear out all the inner resentments, angers, hatreds, fears and blocks that could possibly have been inside me at any level that were stopping me from being the person I am meant to be. I asked to be a clear channel of Grace. I asked to be cleansed in mind, body and spirit. And I meant it.
And the answer was ‘Let’s do it together, Maggy. I will give you the means, the process and all the support you could possibly need to do what you ask.’