The Freebies

Following on from the previous - about when to give freebies and when not - some lovely stuff sent to me by my friend Barbara from Rebecca Marina's website Celebration Healing.

Rebecca says (and how I agree with her) that there are two main reasons why therapists get asked for freebies.

1/ They don't have enough self-esteem to value their work

2/ They have a Saviour of the World complex - as in "I must do everything I can to save you (forget about me!)"

I've had both...the Saviour of the World part is the trickier of the two...I finally cracked that one when learning about Ho'oponopono which teaches very simply that you can't help anyone but yourself...but if you help yourself, others get better too.

This is what Rebecca writes:

"But Rebecca, who is going to take care of all the poor and downtrodden people in the world?" Well, I don't know... would you like to keep doing it for the rest of your life? Or, are you ready to let some other "up and coming practitioner" take their turn?
Even Jesus said, "The Poor will always bewith us."

When we're starting out we all do a lot of free work. It's actually 'exchanging energy work' in those days because we get to learn on our clients so it's a genuine two-way process.

But later on, when we're moving into our own power, it's time to really value who we are and say 'no,' if you want my services for free, you're not ready for them. If you don't want to pay (or offer a fair exchange) for them then you aren't going to value them - and they won't work for you.'

When I was seriously broke, I weeded the garden for a friend...there's always something you can do as an exchange if you really want to grow.

So, more work on self required (what a surprise!) Or, rather, perhaps more play with self required...


Surely the more you give, the more you get back?

Anyone who's seen The Secret knows about the Law of Attraction - which is simply the way that this Universe operates as in 'what you put out you get back.'A friend of mine who's doing some advertising for our magazine, Tree of Life wanted to offer advertisers a special offer on top of an existing special offer. I said 'no' and she said 'surely the more you give, the more you get back?'In theory, yes. But I think it only works the way we'd like it to work if we're actually willing to receive as well as give.
And in business, it’s a bit on the crazy side to give special offers which mean that you can’t pay the print bill (let alone your colleague!) from the revenue that you are offering to others.
Yes, I know it’s true that the money can come from somewhere else but you have to clear about the motivation for giving. And if you don’t want to give it, then it really won’t benefit anyone if it is given…because it’s not a gift it’s a resentment.
And it’s no use jumping to ‘you should be more enlightened than that’ because that’s just adding blame to resentment.
We are allowed to be human! The lovely lady wanted to make the special, special offer to support those potential advertisers who couldn’t afford a ‘proper’ ad.
I do realise that the people who most need prosperity are the ones who don't have it (it’s a blinding flash of the bleedin' obvious but bear with me...) but if I gave extra discounts would I actually be supporting them? Are they ready to advertise their therapy work if they are not willing to promote themselves? And if I gave people the special, special offer, how could I tell the Universe that I want to be paid directly for my work? My accountant is brilliant but she and the tax man do like to have some definite trail to follow on outgoings and income.Yes, if I were enlightened, I could sit and meditate all day and have everything I desired come to me...but, sorry, I'm not that enlightened and anyway I want to walk the dog…So I think the art of giving and receiving is something that is a little more complex than just giving more and more.Interestingly, while I was thinking about this, I had a phone call from someone who wants me to come and do a free talk for her group to promote a six-week course I do on 'Activating the Secret' (see It was slightly dispiriting because originally she was going to book me for the course itself...then she was going to book me for one evening at a small fee...and now she said the group wanted me to speak for one session for free.I said I'd ring her back and I had a think. Once I'd got my head around it and got over the slight irritation of the change of plan I knew that it was fair's a 'loss-leader.' I called her back with good grace and said 'yes, okay.'But within an hour of saying yes to that freebie, I had a phone call from a woman to whom I'd previously offered a discount on a workshop who said she couldn't afford it and could she come for free?An hour after that, I had a call from a client from a previous workshop who hasn't done any of the homework I'd suggested wanting me to give her more (different) advice for free over the phone.And half an hour later I had someone come to the door asking me to buy things that I didn't want or need in order to support him (often I will buy from these people - but there was nothing I could possibly want in his bag and he didn't present his case with any grace!)And another hour later I had a phone call from someone wanting a private session for free who spent 10 minutes telling me how awful she was and how her life was a mess before I could get a word in edgeways.If I had said yes to all those people, would the Universe have re-imbursed me later? I don't think so - because I wouldn't have been valuing me and my work.In fact, I gave all four of them (including the doorstop seller) some concentrated listening time and, to all of the prosperity seekers, I gave two exercises or techniques that they could do to start the process of turning their lives around. Not one of them listened. They didn't want to make the commitment to working themselves. Instead they wanted me to see them for free; they thought that I could do the work for them and heal their problems.Which I couldn't possibly do.I run a monthly free prosperity e-letter and I run a monthly prosperity support group for £5 and there is plenty of free advice to get people started on my website so I have resources available for those who simply can't pay. You can also get my books and Tree of Life magazine from your local library. And I know from my own experience that you can get from a 'can't pay' to 'want to move on and can pay' space from doing those exercises because that's exactly what I did after my own life fell apart. Without free books from the library (it was before the Internet took off) I might well have stayed in trouble but I was desperate enough to do the work - and it worked.And, I have a confession to make (which I may regret!) I always give one free workshop per quarter. But I give it to the person who seems to me to be the one who would most benefit from it. Someone who is already doing the work in some way. And when I give it from my heart, then it both works for the receiver and for me.So this Law of Attraction is a funny thing...if we apply it with a feeling that our heart is sinking it will bring us more heart-sinking experiences. But if we apply it with happiness then it will repay.But we have to remember our own worth all along.

Time For Some Not Fake Food.