Showing posts from March, 2014


It's all been going pretty well really. The vitamin C has definitely had a good effect and, for all I know, may continue to do so. I've been zinging with energy, creating lovely healthy food that actually tastes nice—and my Shiatsu practitioner gave me a dehumidifyer for raw food on 'extended loan.' Haven't got very far with that yet apart from kale chips which are surprisingly good.

The horse is still scary—she's called Carrie and I've ridden her twice on my own now. The first time was not easy as she tested me out every step of the way, got away from me once and fly-bucked like crazy. Glad to know I'm still a good rider because I coped with it all.

But don't you love it when you get back to the stables and someone says 'did she buck?' No one had previously mentioned that little habit of hers at all...

Before ride number two I thought I'd try a bit of horse-whispering in the outside school at the stables where Carrie is kept. She's …

59. Into the Darkness, part three

There is a magic and a mystery in walking in the darkness every night. You see the sky turn and dance above and around and you become familiar with the phases of the moon. She has rainbow auras and extraordinary cloud strata around her on the clearer nights and you can see how easily she became a goddess.

When the moon is full or verging on full, no torch is needed because the lanes are silvery and the land is bathed in greys. I still take one, to alert any possible cars, in case you were worrying.

Some nights I walk into the full moon and spend most of the walk gazing upwards at her beauty (my feet know the lanes and the potholes very well by now) and walk home with my moon-shadow preceding me. That's a very odd experience in the night time; the shadow is so well-defined as to be slightly un-nerving. And she's a lot slimmer than I'm still used to being.

The moon is so bright those nights that sometimes I turn round to look behind me, certain that there must be a car's…

58. Into the Darkness part two

About a week after I started walking the nights, I first met the Shaman. Not on the walks, I might add but actually that's the kind of thing you might have expected.
Her name's Suzi but she really should be called Morgana or something like that. She has long black hair, lives in a real witch's cottage and wears clothes that New Age people try to imitate. She retrieves the parts of your soul that you have hidden through trauma or some other reason and which need to be called back to either help you heal or ensure that a transition is clear.
She doesn't want a lot of back-history before she begins the calling, the song and the drumming as you lie, covered in rugs before the fire, and go on your own internal vision quest, so she doesn't necessarily know in advance what's going on in your life.
Her message for me was that I needed to go into the dark. Right into the heart of the Dark Mother. That's my work in this life; that's where the calling is; that's …

57. Into the Darkness, part one.

Pretty much every night since November, I've taken Dessy, our younger beagle, for a half-hour walk before bed.
I do it because the lymphoma survivors' website says that's one of the important things to do—half an hour's exercise morning and before bed to ensure that what you eat is turned into fats for your body to use rather than sugars for the dis-ease to chomp. That's the case whatever you eat, even if it's mostly just salad and vegetables because pretty much everything except lettuce and sardines has carbohydrates in it.
A wet November is probably not the best time to start such an enterprise but, at least, the lanes around here are very quiet and in the first month we only had to deal with three cars. Both Dessy and I are attired each night in luminous jackets, I carry a powerful torch so we can be seen. Those first nights,  we set of manfully (or womanfully or beaglefully) on a bit of a route-march.
We walked in howling gales and sweeping wet and in grie…

56. The Edinburgh Fringe.

My goodness, what a week it's been.

The lady with the horse has been in touch so I'm going to ride Carrie for the first time on Saturday. Now I'm skinnier my jodhpurs will be a bit loose but I'm sure they're elastic enough for all they're very old. The hat's fine too but I'll have to get some new riding gloves.

We're going to Cyprus to be at Ariadne's christening and to see Tim again for the first time in two years.

We're going to France—Lion's friends, Roger and Barbara, are hosting us at a gîte in Brittany and all we have to do is find the cash to get there and back—and lots for good French mange-ing.

My shiatsu practitioner is giving me a dehumidifier so I can have fun with raw foods.

And this autumn I'll be doing a one-hour one-woman show at the Edinburgh Fringe.

Stone me!  Well, don't. I've been in quite enough trouble lately ... but you know what I mean.

I applied for Edinburgh through Laughing Horse Comedy and they'…

55. We are going to Cyprus!

We are booked to fly to Cyprus for Ariadne's christening on 26rd April.

Thank you so, so much to those of you who donated money to make it possible. Lion and I are so very grateful and so very happy. I'm waking up in the morning and thinking 'We're going to Cyprus!'

It was so lovely to be able to tell Tim that we had booked a hotel and a car and that we would definitely be there (isn't Skype wonderful?). He said: 'I'm really chuffed ... 'I am getting really excited now I know you'll be over here.' Isn't that lovely?

I've travelled a lot in my life ... been to China, Australia, South America, Seychelles etc. But this is delighting me as much as any trip I've ever taken. Probably as much because I didn't know if I'd ever be strong enough to travel again. But I am. And I'm so looking forward to some sunshine.

Even the diet will be fine there—I can eat Greek salad until it's coming out of my ears (I'm allowed goat …