Like Attracts Like...

If you understand the Law of Attraction, ‘like attracts like’ makes sense. For those who believe that opposites attract (as in magnetised fields), it doesn’t.

I think it is true but it can often appear to be untrue. I was a ‘good girl’ when I was young and was always attracted to dangerous men. But the attraction came because, underneath, I secretly wanted to be dangerous myself. I just didn’t have the guts back then.

But I normally make a bit of a face when people say ‘You remind me so much of my friend Sue — I must introduce you; you’ll love Sue,’ because both Sue and I usually don’t like each other that much. Along with that goes ‘You’ve written this book so you must read that book.’

Most of this is projection. If I like it, I think you must like it too because that adds validation to my opinion. Or I’m trying to show you that I’m as smart as you and that if you want me to think you’re smart, then you must read the books or appreciate the people I appreciate.

The ego is very clever like this. In the holistic and spiritual world it uses ‘spiritual speak’ very cleverly to show superiority while appearing terribly learned, positive and enlightened.

But what spirit snobs don’t realise is that if energy fields are too far apart they repulse. There is nothing more annoying than someone who refuses to see any negativity whatsoever in the world when you are grieving the loss of a loved one or animal or you’ve got toothache. Okay, to the spiritually savvy it’s not a bad experience; it just is what it is. But sometimes, if you’re going through it, it surely feels like a negative experience. And having someone come along and tell you how good it all is can be horrible.

Yes, I know — you attracted it (here we go — see what I mean?). But whatever the other person may or not be attracting with their energy does not mean that you have to be the agent for their karma.

I’d go out on a limb and say that to be overly positive when someone is grieving, furious or depressed is actually abusive. And if you are capable of being that unfeeling then perhaps you are not quite as enlightened as you think you are.

Many years ago, my cousin was made redundant from a job he hated. He was all misery and fear. I was all bright and vibrant from having read Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life and I wrote him a letter all about how this was an important new phase for him and a wonderful thing to have happened.

As I walked to the post box with the letter, something flashed into my eyes. I’ve no idea what it was but it was like a camera flash going off in front of me. It disoriented me and left a sharp image in my eyes for some minutes.

Fortunately I stopped to consider what had happened and I realised that I was just about to do exactly the same to my cousin. He wasn’t ready, willing or able to be told that what had happened to him was wonderful. I didn’t send the letter.

In later years I realised that my cousin had been attracting more difficult things to him and that my letter would have been a part of that. He expected people to be arrogant and abuse him and in my arrogant spiritual superiority I was actually walking into his need to be hurt and upset. Thank God for the angel with the flash bulb.

Just this last week I posted a question on my Facebook Prosperity Page.  A friend of mine’s dog was dying and she was feeling down. So I asked for people to offer tips for what they did to help them on difficult days. Two people posted that ‘there are no difficult days. Everything is perfect. It’s all good.’

Yes. They’re right on a cosmic level. But was that kind? I don’t think so. It’s great to be positive of course; but it’s a case of ‘where’s the loving kindness?’ It is not kind to try and push someone to an energetic level that they are not ready for. It is not kind to tell people that they just have to think positive when their hearts are breaking; it is not kind to tell them that there are no difficult days when they are obviously having a terrible time. That is an ego trip to feel superior no matter how dressed up in ‘I’m a spiritual person and I can help you,’ it may be.

The Jewish mystical tradition tells us that ‘loving kindness is greater even than truth.’ At times like that, it behoves us to shut up, offer a comforting arm, a cup of tea and to listen. If we can’t hold our own energy level while the other pours their heart out then we need to do more work on ourselves (yes, I’m still working on that too). It’s fair enough to offer some sensible ‘this might help’ advice, some flower remedies or homeopathy but please don’t tell people that what they feel is wrong.

If you were so genuinely enlightened that you had no difficult days whatsoever, then you would be at Buddha level and you would be love incarnate. You wouldn’t even consider imposing your views on someone else because you wouldn’t see any error or fault in them; you’d just see their innate perfection and allow them to be. Just to be.

So please, just think before you spout your spiritual wisdom. We’re all trying to raise our vibrational level but we all have to do it at our own speed.

All lasting and productive spiritual work comes about from steady, continual baby steps. The best way to raise our levels of prosperity and happiness is to spend as much time as we can with those people and those situations that are stronger and brighter than us — but not too strong or bright. Then we can grow easily, steadily and consistently and maintain that progress.

Wishing you a June that is just a beautifully bit better than you think it’s going to be...