The Three Day Fast

I'm on a three day fast. Which means no food at all. Nada. It's not fun but it is interesting.

And of course, I've just driven myself crazy posting a picture of a quiche I made because you're 'supposed' to have a picture on a blog posting. Sometimes I do make myself laugh...

So, you say, why are you doing the fast if you don't enjoy it? Who would?! But there are three reasons really - it's good for my body and it's good self-discipline - and because of John-down-the-road.

When I was ill a year or so ago, I ate very healthily but since then I've gone back down the 'yummy carbs' route probably because I'll never be one of those people who only eat to live. I love my food! And I love baking and making treats for others.

When I was sick I ate keto as much as I could - no sugar, virtually no carbs for 18 solid months (and no alcohol either). I certainly got slender - though ironically that wasn't any part of the goal - and people said that I'd never want to go back to sugar. Really? On what planet? I have to say I'd love to be one of those people who genuinely discovers that sugar no longer appeals but it certainly wasn't the truth for me.

When I bake nowadays I bake gluten-free (which is probably why so much of my food is messy - see articles below!) but I still include maple syrup or sugar when the recipe requires it. I focus on the gluten-free not because I'm coeliac but because I just think it's healthier. Who knows how much mess there is bound into most gluten? Apart from anything else, most pesticides are formulated to destroy the insect's stomach and if you have enough of that in your own tummy ... well, need I say more?

Incidentally, the quiche pictured is 50-50 gluten free and normal flour. That was quite simple: I just made two pastries and stuck them together. The non GF half was for my husband.

It would, of course, be healthier to drop the sugar too - but I don't want to. And I am a fervent believer that what makes you happy is a valid pathway to greater health. Eat as well as you can and eat happily and you are doing okay. I hardly ate happily any day for those 18 months; it was a grind and that's not how I want to live my life. It's not healthy!

There is research that supports what seems to be true for me - that the body tries to re-build the fat it used to have before you dieted/got sick. It seems that it believes that being skinny is not the accepted, healthy norm for it - and as the dieting doesn't actually remove the fat cells, just makes them skinny. They want to fill out again.

Hence the fast. I reckon that if I want to stay as healthy as possible and I intend to eat stuff that is 'bad for me' and which makes me joyful then I also need to allow my digestion and immune system the chance to take some time out and re-set itself. Here's an article about it. If there's no food to process, the stomach can rest ... and if there's nothing to spark any reactions, the immune system can get on with sorting out what really matters like any rogue cells, that sniffle that's gone on too long or anything else that might need repairing.

What's fascinating is that, here on day two, I'm not hungry. Truly, there has been no rumbling yet at all. But I miss the routine of eating breakfast, lunch, tea and supper with my husband, I miss the anticipation of meals, I miss the cooking. And I miss the food!  I can smell Lion's lunctime soup and his supper much more than I would notice the scent of my own food. And I'm finding it hard to concentrate which means my blood sugar is (understandably) low. But I'm incredibly proud of myself. In many ways I lack self-discipline but this is an exercise in just that and it's pleasing that I am ready, willing and (so far) able to do it.

Oh...the bit about John-down-the-road: John is an incredible man who heals people with chronic pain through EFT and kinesiology. He truly has had some wonderful results but, just like all healers, he has had his failures too, including, partially, himself. He had arthritis. Now he didn't have it like he 'should' have had it because of his work on himself and his diet and his beliefs; it has reduced and reduced since he started healing work and became simply faint but it was still there. So John (who has shedloads of money and never charges for his healing work - bless him) went off to Arizona to do a three week fast, to reset his immune system enough to clear his arthritis.

This fast was fully medically supervised - he wasn't even allowed to leave the facility which, to me would have been hell! - and all he took in for 21 days was water. He was bored out of his brain but he did it.

And the arthritis went.

Now, I don't have the guts to do 21 days but I can be inspired by John and I can manage three days and I can intend to do this at least every six months as an act of love towards this marveous, beautiful body of mine.

And on Friday, I can have another of those uttely yummy GF, organic brownies I made on Sunday. If Lion hasn't scoffed the lot.

Baby Chickens

We have baby chickens. They're almost stolen baby chickens because they came from eggs I got from  proper chickens down the road when one of our bantams went broody. They gave her something to sit on and, to be honest, I never thought for a moment they would hatch!

Woodpecker Teeth

Our darling Razzle, the sweetest, most loving, gentle beagle in the world used to do woodpecker teeth when we were preparing her food. That's the only way to describe it. She rattled her teeth like a good 'un.
RIP dearest Razzle, AKA Thunderfeet MegaBeagle (Mrs). We gave her back to the Great Mother and she now lies deep under the vegetable patch. I still cry when I think about her or write about her - it is only three months - even though we have her daughter Callisto now to lift our hearts and drive us (and our other beagle, Dessy) crazy as only a beagle can do.

Maggy at BosFest, Somerset 2017

Here's my latest comedy video, filmed by Dorian Wainwright at Bosfest. I started performing in my dog collar at the advice of my bishop, of all things. To start with, I was careful not to do so but I have a pretty brilliant bishop who thinks that comedy is part of my ministry. The only problem with that is that he will keep sending me jokes... :-)

Millionaire's Shortbread

Here we go again. It tastes great - really, it does. But it looks like something the cat brought in.

This is — believe it or not — the recipe from the BBC Food page. It says that it is 'devilishly easy to make.'

I'm afraid this is fake news.

Firstly, if you want to make any kind of caramel at all, you have to have new non-stick saucepans. If you've got old, scratched ones like me, your caramel will burn. And although brown burnt bits don't actually affect the taste, they aren't going to win you a prize at South Zeal show.

Except, oddly enough, I did win a prize at South Zeal show! My dreadful-looking Millionaire's Shortbread was one of only two entries. While first prize deserved it, and I definitely didn't, I learnt a thing or two about local village flower shows - if you're one of only two entries, your cooking can be crappy as a crappy thing in crap town but you still get second prize!

Cooking With Spelt.

I try and eat as healthily as I can, for a given value of 'Oh for God's sake!' when the gluten-free, sugar-free, yeast-free, vegan, lactose-free (and sometimes even raw) effort collapses in the dish either before, during or after cooking or dehydrating. I will point out here that I am not vegan nor vegetarian so you will be facing bacon on this blog.

Like now.

This is a quiche made with with spelt flour. I love cooking with spelt and it tastes delicious and this turned out pretty well

It's a half-and-half quiche in that the left-hand side has cow cheese and the right-hand side has goat cheese. Luckily I only have slight intolerances so I can do that sort of thing — and it helps my husband who is an old-fashioned bloke when it comes to food and who finds quinoia, dehydrated kale and such stuff scarier than spiders in the bath.*

I also make wraps with just spelt, seasoning and a little water, flatten them with my bare hands and dry fry and they are just gorgeous.

Quiche Recipe:

• 300 gms spelt or plain flour
• 150 gms shortening (I used coconut oil)
• 50 gms butter.
• Two eggs, beaten.
• 1.5 kilos Spanish onions
• Cheese and bacon to taste.

Grease a flan base. Put flour, shortening and season in the food mixer and wizz (or, if you're being impressive, mix in a bowl).
Bake blind for 20 minutes. I use temperature of 325F for most things and guess for the others but all cookers are different so I can't really advise here...You'll know.
Heat the 50 gm of butter in a large pan or casserole. Quarter the onions and cook vigorously for about half an hour. Take care they do not burn - stir occasionally. Towards the end of the half hour, turn the heat up and stir continually until the onions start to brown and liquify.
Pour them on to the pastry and cover with the beaten eggs, grated cheese and slices of ham or bacon (or asparagus or whatever).
Cook for half an hour on 325 - or until nicely bronzed and gooey.
Eat warm.

However, I had forgotten the traditional custom of putting pastry into the fridge for half an hour before rolling it out. Do not try that with spelt flour.

This (right) is what happens when you do that. It shatters. This is another pie - a chicken pie made with spelt flour. I'd already made the base and it was already showing a tendency to shatter when I blind-baked it. So, I thought the fridge might help when it came to putting the top on.

Obviously not...

After I'd stopped laughing, I served the pie without a pastry topping.

A second attempt (below) was hardly more successful than the first aesthetics-wise. But both pies were yummy. No, I'll not post the recipe because they are just pastry, leftover chicken, frozen veg and some gravy from the freezer.
You can manage that :-)

Time For Some Not Fake Food.

I want to introduce you to my 2014 Christmas cake. This is the cake that started it.
As you can see, it’s a mess.

At the time of making it, I was coping with a serious diagnosis, the first sessions of treatment and was feeling sick, discouraged and as weak as a kitten. But I ‘had’ to make a Christmas cake because I always have made one. Buying one or doing without was out of the question, despite my husband’s entreaties not to be an idiot. It was crazy; I admit it. But I simply had to make the cake.

Slowly and with many stops to rest, I managed to bake the cake, ice it and, as I was carrying it to the storeroom, in its tin, I lost my balance and fell. The tin stayed shut but the cake was shattered.

As you can imagine, I was desperately upset. And then, as I tried to patch the shattered cake back together—while pushing away two beagles who wanted to help clear it up with great enthusiasm— my first tears of frustration stopped and I began to laugh. I laughed and laughed and laughed. I patched up the cake, still laughing. I laughed all the way through that Christmas, every time I saw that disreputable, messy and cracked cake and every time I remembered it. I showed it to family and friends with delight. They laughed too. It became the highlight of the whole of Christmas.

And, what’s more, it was delicious.

And it made me think - because all the pictures of Christmas cakes you're going to see all over the Internet are perfect. Mostly they're made with that kind of plasticy-roll-on icing which I'm too snobby to touch with a bargepole. Frankly, my icing is always a bit of a mess - and I don't mind.

So, from now on, this blog is going to be my Not Fake Food cooking blog, with real cooking pictures. Enjoy!