I think it is true but it can often appear to be untrue. I was a ‘good girl’ when I was young and was always attracted to dangerous men. But the attraction came because, underneath, I secretly wanted to be dangerous myself. I just didn’t have the guts back then.
But I normally make a bit of a face when people say ‘You remind me so much of my friend Sue — I must introduce you; you’ll love Sue,’ because both Sue and I usually don’t like each other that much. Along with that goes ‘You’ve written this book so you must read that book.’
Most of this is projection. If I like it, I think you must like it too because that adds validation to my opinion. Or I’m trying to show you that I’m as smart as you and that if you want me to think you’re smart, then you must read the books or appreciate the people I appreciate.
The ego is very clever like this. In the holistic and spiritual world it uses ‘spiritual speak’ very cleverly to show superiority while appearing terribly learned, positive and enlightened.
But what spirit snobs don’t realise is that if energy fields are too far apart they repulse. There is nothing more annoying than someone who refuses to see any negativity whatsoever in the world when you are grieving the loss of a loved one or animal or you’ve got toothache. Okay, to the spiritually savvy it’s not a bad experience; it just is what it is. But sometimes, if you’re going through it, it surely feels like a negative experience. And having someone come along and tell you how good it all is can be horrible.
Yes, I know — you attracted it (here we go — see what I mean?). But whatever the other person may or not be attracting with their energy does not mean that you have to be the agent for their karma.
I’d go out on a limb and say that to be overly positive when someone is grieving, furious or depressed is actually abusive. And if you are capable of being that unfeeling then perhaps you are not quite as enlightened as you think you are.
Many years ago, my cousin was made redundant from a job he hated. He was all misery and fear. I was all bright and vibrant from having read Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life and I wrote him a letter all about how this was an important new phase for him and a wonderful thing to have happened.
As I walked to the post box with the letter, something flashed into my eyes. I’ve no idea what it was but it was like a camera flash going off in front of me. It disoriented me and left a sharp image in my eyes for some minutes.
Fortunately I stopped to consider what had happened and I realised that I was just about to do exactly the same to my cousin. He wasn’t ready, willing or able to be told that what had happened to him was wonderful. I didn’t send the letter.
In later years I realised that my cousin had been attracting more difficult things to him and that my letter would have been a part of that. He expected people to be arrogant and abuse him and in my arrogant spiritual superiority I was actually walking into his need to be hurt and upset. Thank God for the angel with the flash bulb.
Just this last week I posted a question on my Facebook Prosperity Page. A friend of mine’s dog was dying and she was feeling down. So I asked for people to offer tips for what they did to help them on difficult days. Two people posted that ‘there are no difficult days. Everything is perfect. It’s all good.’
Yes. They’re right on a cosmic level. But was that kind? I don’t think so. It’s great to be positive of course; but it’s a case of ‘where’s the loving kindness?’ It is not kind to try and push someone to an energetic level that they are not ready for. It is not kind to tell people that they just have to think positive when their hearts are breaking; it is not kind to tell them that there are no difficult days when they are obviously having a terrible time. That is an ego trip to feel superior no matter how dressed up in ‘I’m a spiritual person and I can help you,’ it may be.
The Jewish mystical tradition tells us that ‘loving kindness is greater even than truth.’ At times like that, it behoves us to shut up, offer a comforting arm, a cup of tea and to listen. If we can’t hold our own energy level while the other pours their heart out then we need to do more work on ourselves (yes, I’m still working on that too). It’s fair enough to offer some sensible ‘this might help’ advice, some flower remedies or homeopathy but please don’t tell people that what they feel is wrong.
If you were so genuinely enlightened that you had no difficult days whatsoever, then you would be at Buddha level and you would be love incarnate. You wouldn’t even consider imposing your views on someone else because you wouldn’t see any error or fault in them; you’d just see their innate perfection and allow them to be. Just to be.
So please, just think before you spout your spiritual wisdom. We’re all trying to raise our vibrational level but we all have to do it at our own speed.
All lasting and productive spiritual work comes about from steady, continual baby steps. The best way to raise our levels of prosperity and happiness is to spend as much time as we can with those people and those situations that are stronger and brighter than us — but not too strong or bright. Then we can grow easily, steadily and consistently and maintain that progress.
Wishing you a June that is just a beautifully bit better than you think it’s going to be...
We had a paradise wedding in the Seychelles four months later, at the beginning of 1989, and both believed that life would follow the path of happy ever. I didn’t even mind that I lost my job – my expertise was all about China and the events of Tiananmen Square in 1988 had made China a no-go area for journalism. But five months after our wedding, Henry was diagnosed with terminal cancer and he died in my arms one year, 16 days after our wedding.
I ran away to Australia for six weeks while I tried to face up to it. At the time I had no spiritual or holistic knowledge and it was unbelievably tough. It seemed like my whole future had been removed.
My friends Peter Seccombe and Sarah Douglas were on a year’s Sabbatical travelling the world and we arranged for me to fly out to spend two weeks with them and then to go on and stay with an old friend from my TV days who had emigrated to Sydney.
My flight took me into Cairns in the Northern Territory and I arrived two days before Sarah and Pete could get there – in the days before mobile phones and the Internet liaising on an exact date with travellers was a pretty tough call. That first night I went tentatively down to the hotel bar; I was very aware of being not normal; grief had set me somehow about half an inch out of my skin and everything looked and felt wrong wherever I was. I had a constant feeling that if I stepped out in front of a bus and it didn’t stop, I wouldn’t have minded. I certainly wasn’t paying very much attention to life. I didn’t see the point in anything.
It was my birthday the next day so I went out to the Barrier Reef to do some snorkelling. I had been planning to wait until Sarah and Pete arrived but there are only so many circuits you can make of a town when you’re miserable.
The ship that took us out was crowded with Japanese tourists so I could hide quite neatly in the crowd. I did listen to the announcements on where to swim and where not to go.
‘Just avoid the deep water,’ said the announcer. ‘You’re perfectly safe in the shallows and we keep an eye out for you. No one’s ever been hurt in the shallows but you must stay there because there are sharks in the deep water and two divers were killed by an eight-foot barracuda only about six weeks ago. That guy wasn’t within 20 miles of here but it’s best to be sure.’
Into the water we all went and I floundered around for a while, hating it. My mind wasn’t relaxed enough to deal with all the shouting, giggling and photograph-taking all around me. What did I do? Yes, of course I swam round the boat. I had completely forgotten what the announcer said.
The barracuda was right there; lurking. It was enormous, with great black marks like portholes down its side and teeth that made me shiver. It was side on when I first saw it but it flipped in less than a second to face-on and came towards me so fast it was like a blur.
It is true that time slows down in a crisis. I remember the terror – and I also remember thinking very clearly ‘I want to live.’ Until that moment, I hadn’t been sure.
A Voice cut in to my thoughts very clearly ‘Swim forwards and make as much noise as you can. When you get near, hit it on the nose. If it turns, poke its eye with your thumb.'
So I did the complete opposite of what instinct wanted me to do – swim away as fast as possible - and obeyed the Voice without thought. I swam straight at the barracuda, yelling under the water.
It flipped away.
I lay there and watched it; it watched me. Impasse.
Being a journalist – and afraid that no one would believe my story – I took a photograph with my underwater camera. The Voice sighed.
‘Get out of the water?’ it suggested.
I turned and swam round the ship as fast as I could. Out of the water, I vomited with fear and shook like
I didn’t tell anyone on the ship; I was too scared of being told off and there was no one else who was about to be as stupid as I had been. But as I sat, wrapped in my towel, shivering, I knew: I wanted to live. Henry’s death was not the end of me and I would survive.
I have the murky, slightly out-of-focus photograph of that barracuda on the desktop of my computer to look at whenever I’m feeling small or scared. It helps.
My path took me where I’d never expected. It turned me into the luckiest woman on the planet. For the last 15 years I've been teaching prosperity consciousness and Kabbalah. As my Life of Miracles has included riding on the back of a Bengal tiger, widowhood, redundancy, making TV documentaries, swimming with dolphins, having my life saved by a brave Chinese security guard, emigrating twice in 11 months, a gloriously happy marriage, having sixteen books published, living a wonderfully healthy and wealthy life and being really rather happy...I've tested all this prosperity work to the full.
I'm also proud of the TV documentaries I made about China, about once being told that I made the best chocolate cake in all of Montana, being a radio presenter for three different radio stations, editing an holistic magazine and the fact that I got my beloved beagle, Didcot, back from America on Passports for Pets before it was possible to do so (and I did it legally).
But most of all, I appreciate the joy of living peacefully, prosperously and happily with Lion, the best, kindest and funniest love of my life, in a lovely house surrounded by trees in the Midlands of England.
To read about my books visit Amazon.
I'm asked quite often how to cleanse spaces, whether they are at home or the office. So here is my Church's recipe for Holy Water and the blessing we use for spaces. It works — there are many other ways of blessing a space also so you should choose the one that resonates for you. If the Christian symbology doesn't work, then it's not for you and that's fine...
The wording says 'priest' but you are the priest if you are saying the prayers.
The Blessing of Holy Water
Fill a jug with water and place about a tablespoon of salt in a small bowl.
Where there is a + make the sign of the cross with your hand over the salt or the water.
Over the salt say the following:
I cleanse you, creature of salt, by the living God, by the holy É God, by the omnipotent É God, that you may be purified from all evil influences, in the name of the most Holy One, who is lord of angels and humanity, and who fills all the worlds with his majesty and glory. Amen.
I pray to you, O God, in your infinite loving kindness to stretch forth the right hand of your power upon this creature of salt, which I É bless and É hallow in your holy name. May this salt bring health of mind and body to all who are touched by it, and, wherever it is used, may every power of adversity and every illusion or working of evil be driven forth, and abide not; through thy Christ, the lord of the elements. Amen.
I cleanse you, creature of water, by the living É God, by the holy É God, by the omnipotent É God, that you may be purified from all evil influences, in the name of the most Holy One, who is lord of angels and humanity, and who fills all the worlds with his majesty and glory. Amen.
O God, for the helping and protection of humankind, you bless the water set apart for the service of goodness; send forth your light and power upon this element of water which I É bless and É hallow in your holy name. May those who use this water be empowered with all goodness, and may everything sprinkled with it be made holy and pure, and guarded from all assaults of evil, through thy Christ, the lord of the elements. Amen.
Cast the salt three times into the water, in the sign of the cross, saying:
Let salt and water mingle together in the name of the É Father and of the É Son and of the Holy É Spirit. Amen.
Blessing of Objects in General
Over the object –
Priest - In the name of God, I exorcise all influences of evil, and lay upon them the spell of Christ’s holy church, that they may be banished and driven forth from this [here name the object to be blessed], which we are about to dedicate to divine service. In the power of the É Father, and of the É Son, and of the Holy É Spirit. Amen.
The object may now be sprinkled with Holy Water and censed with blessed incense.
Priest - Let us pray.
Priest - O God you are the perpetual source of all existence, in the mystery of your boundless love, you continually breathe your divine life into the Universe, we pray you to rest the hand of your power upon this [here name the object to be blessed], which has been purified by various means, and to fill this creature with heavenly É grace and É blessing.