For the Difficult Times (in memory of Mr. Cat).
And yet, some days just suck.
And if you’re anything like me you start beating yourself up for the fact that you’ve managed to create a difficult day. It must be your responsibility, right?
But wait a minute. Stop. Breathe. I’m going to tell you a secret:
Even if you are totally positive, holistic and spiritual, Stuff Happens. Stuff sometimes just IS.
Why Stuff Happens depends on what else is going on in your life but there is always going to be the potential for Stuff (and yes, feel free to change the word ‘Stuff’ for another beginning with ‘s’ if it feels better).
This month the cat belonging to one of my friends had to be put down. Now she can be as enlightened as she likes; she can be a committed positive-thinker; she can know for sure that Mr. Cat is happy in the heavenly armchair. But the truth is that she is wracked with grief. And she really, really doesn’t need to beat herself up at the same time.
Pet cats die. Dogs die. Mothers and fathers die. God forbid, but our children die too. Projects die. Dreams die. Relationships die. And when they die, we cry. And maybe we get angry or depressed.
And even if it isn’t anything like that, there are astrological transits, biorhythms, homeopathic miasms — not to mention relatives.
After a day or two we can probably get a grip on it; re-frame it; take the flower remedies; talk to friends; pick ourselves up. But please, never, ever, beat yourself up for the days when nothing works. Just let them be; rest and wait for tomorrow. Trust me, the real friends on the spiritual journey will understand that. They won’t think you weak or stupid for the days when you are a soggy heap on the floor.
The truth is that we never get it done. We never get ourselves totally cleansed; we are never without desire for it to be better. And that’s actually how it’s meant to be. A world without desire (even if it’s just desire to be pulled out somehow from being up to your armpits in very stinky Stuff) would be a pretty tedious place.
Yes, everything that happens is our responsibility. Of course it is. But we live in a world of duality where, if we choose to love, we will experience loss. Every time we imagine something wonderful, we simultaneously create the possibility of its not happening as well as its being amazing. Our energies contribute enormously to how things turn out but we wouldn’t be human if we were perfect; if we could manifest absolutely everything without hiccups along the way.
And if we choose to love a person or an animal or anything alive, we will also be choosing the certainty of loss.
After my first husband, Henry, died I found some unexpected wisdom inside me when people expressed their shock and horror that someone so young could be taken and that our marriage had been of such short duration. I would say, ‘Yes, but it was worth it.’
And, you know, I think that is still the best answer I can give to the bad days; the days when everything in the planets is shrieking at your natal chart; when you’ve dropped the casserole you were making for guests; when the slugs eat your lettuces; when the cheque is late; when the rent can’t be paid; when you wake up depressed for no reason; when everything just makes you want to scream.
This is life on Planet Earth. Some days suck but they are the price of life in a world based on duality. Here we are in light and dark, life and death, up and down, left and right, male and female, right and wrong. It just IS. And some days, some of it sucks.
But if you can let that be the case, and allow it … if you can just look around you at the beauty and glory of this world and remember in your anger or unhappiness, just one moment when you were truly, truly loved or if there is now just one person in your life to whom you can turn for a cuddle, then it is worth it. It is worth it because you did once have that glory no matter how short the time.
IT IS WORTH IT. And this too shall pass.