Value for Money; Value for Life.

Let’s start by defining “Value” (OED): Value: c.1300, from Old French value "worth, value" (13c.), noun use of fem. pp. of valoir "be worth," from Latin valere "be strong, be well, be of value."

Now let’s take a look at a couple of quotations:

"Is devotion to others a cover-up for the hungers and needs of the self, of which one is ashamed? I was always ashamed to take. So I gave. It was not a virtue. It was a disguise" — Anaïs Nin.

“There are many insidious ways that we betray ourselves. Self-sacrifice is one of the most popular ones for women because it’s condoned by society. ‘What a good woman you are, offering yourself up on the altar of self-abuse.’” Sarah ban Breathnach.

When are we offering “good value?”

When we are strong and well, that’s when.

How do we stay strong and well? By valuing ourselves.

This last month I spent more than four hours on the phone listening to people with problems who wanted free help and advice for situations that had been building to crescendo in their lives for months and perhaps even years. They had reached the end of the rope and were in dire need and picked up the telephone to ask for me.

And I listened and gave advice. For free. Even though I have deliberately put enough information on my Pure Prosperity website to help anyone start turning their life around including a one-hour free webinar. Even though I have trained prosperity teachers to run groups and help others. There are four years of articles here on my blog, not to mention You Tube videos and a free Facebook Fan Page for prosperity issues.

Did I offer them value? Heck yes. In doing so, did I value myself? No. Even after all these years, I fell down the trap of self-sacrifice. Darn!

February and March have been busy months with weekend workshops, webinars and up to four nights a week teaching as well. That was fine; in fact it was great fun. It would have remained fine without that all-too-frequently missed series of last straws. So now I’m sitting on the sofa, wrapped up in a blanket with a cough and a cold simply because I didn’t know when or how to say “no.” Completely and utterly my responsibility.

In a small way, by listening to their woes and allowing them to dump their negative energy, I was doing exactly what they had done to create their own situations — going one step too far (and then another) before stopping and taking care of myself. And it’s the series of small things that creates the big things...

“So why are you writing your prosperity article now?” You say (quite rightly). “Why are you doing something else for free?”

Good point.

Firstly, I’m doing it because I love writing. I love writing. If I were shipwrecked on a desert island, I’d write a novel in the sand and carve another in the rocks. This is my passion so it’s one way I value myself. When I’m writing, I don’t answer the phone at all.

Secondly, I’m doing it to take a stand. And I’d love you to consider taking the same stand too. I’m doing it to say to me (and to the world), “Enough is enough!”

There is enough free advice out there for anyone (just look at the Abraham YouTube videos; just look at Byron Katie’s Work; just look at my work). If you want any further advice, then book an appointment with a therapist and pay. That way you know that the person you book with values his or herself — and they know that you value yourself enough to commit do doing something for yourself. And if you don’t have the money, start learning the commitment to yourself by starting the search online and actually doing some of it instead of asking another to do it for you.

It’s called discernment; self-discipline; self-respect. For you. And for them.

Is it called ‘selfish’? Probably yes, by some. But anyone who accuses you of selfishness will be the one who needs to learn this art for his or her self too. If anyone tells you that you are selfish, tell them “No, I am valiant.” (defined as "stalwart, brave," originally "be strong," from Latin valere "be strong, be well, be worth, have power, be able,"

You are worthy; you are strong; you are well; you have worth.

Value it.

Value for money.

Value for Life.

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