Edinburgh Fringe Day One

Welcome to my Edinburgh Fringe Comedy blog. It starts today — the day after I arrived in this beautiful city.

By the time I went to sleep here in Edinburgh last night I was really rather mithered. I had no idea how

I was going to manage all the walking, the buses and the things I had to do today. You know the kind of thing — new city, no car, no knowledge or experience and all sorts of new and pressing things that

But in what order? Especially given that I had to go half an hour in three different directions by foot.

And a LED (life-enhancing dis-ease or light-emitting diode — take your pick) to be taken into consideration with its sometimes unexpected strains on my wonderful and very brave body.

And everyone else young enough to be my grandchild...

It was certainly like that at Fringe Central today. Well, one of them could have been my son.

But first things first. Last night, I just gave it to God. I hadn't been able to do any of the PR I wanted to do in the last two weeks because the Internet was down so I'd already given that to God. There are some pretty broad shoulders up there and a lot of bored angels (probably knitting or reading books called How to Get in Touch with Your Lower Self).

I woke at 7am, knowing exactly in what order things had to be done and which bus to take. Which was a bit annoying, to be honest, as I'd planned to have a lie in and the new and improved plan meant getting a bus by 8am.

Still, I did it. And of course that particular bus only goes every half hour and I just missed one. Still, by a little Grace and the kindness of a passenger who told me where to get off (but in the best possible way) I arrived hardly flustered at all at Fringe Central in perfect time for the morning 'First Time at the Fringe' session.

About twelve other people showed up (and there were seven presenters) so it was pretty obvious that most people didn't think this was anything you needed to come to. But it was a time when you could ask questions—all the questions you wanted answered—and being a good journalistic type (as well as everyone's grandma) I asked lots of questions and found out useful stuff including where the loos were, whether I needed to bring press releases for the press event tomorrow, the contact details for the Fringe rep for The Church Times, where was the best place to hand out leaflets and that they had free maps of the city which I could actually read without my reading glasses.

Then I had a cup of tea at their cafe. And some Rescue Remedy because I was feeling very weird and tired and spaced out.

And then I felt better. And spent a while sorting out routes on the map and on Google maps on my phone and realised that there was a bus between my venue and Fringe Central so I wouldn't have to walk back and forwards, half an hour at a time, and headed off to get my bus pass for the month from Lothian Buses.

Oh Edinburgh is lovely when it's not raining. I've never been here in the dry before. Gorgeous buildings, the mound, the castle ... lovely. And some kick-ass charity shops for perusal later when I'm on less of a mission.

About an hour and a half and a lot of liquids later I found myself at Ryrie's Bar which despite looking exactly like its pictures looked absolutely nothing like its pictures and was much prettier. The events room is elegant in dark wood and will seat 50 all squashed up (please God).

The flyers and posters we had ordered to be sent there were in the cellar, just next to the major leak but quite dry and in boxes that were virtually unopenable without a knife. So God sent me a screw on the floor (no, not that sort ... I didn't have the energy) which worked pretty well on all the parcel tape and as I'd brought my own blue-tak I had a poster up on the wall tout suite.

And that was it really. Today's jobs done. Yes, if I were 25 and not harvesting energy, I could have gone back to the Royal Mile and started handing out flyers but instead I got the bus back to Colinton. And a nice person told me where to get off... and the 15 minute walk to the house was fine.

So job done; body still in one piece. Time to rest and rehearse tonight and to harvest energy for a very long day tomorrow ... and an email from the BBC's Radio 4 Sunday morning show asking to talk to me with regard to an interview a week on Sunday. Thank you to my friend Pete Simpkin who alerted them and to God for doing pretty damn good PR.

Phew.